Overcooked and Underwhelmed: Chicken Florentine

My husband is fucking obsessed with The Curse of Oak Island. If you're not familiar, this reality show follows a ridiculously rich group of treasure hunters in Nova Scotia. Basically, some people found a hole a couple hundred years ago and now everyone thinks this hole has some kind of treasure in it. It's interesting and they have found some really strange shit, like super old human bone and metal and leather buried hundreds of feet under ground.

Leather, like from a book binding. Could it be Shakespeare's original lost manuscripts? (You'll have to watch the show to get that.)

The metal part is what my husband really loves. There's a metal detectorist on the show (who knew that was a career?) with a cool accent and he says things like "holy shamoly." We all get excited when he is on camera and discovers a "top pocket find."

So, naturally, this led to my husband purchasing an absurdly expensive metal detector. I can't knock him too much, it is a pretty cool instrument. He and the boys actually use it fairly often so it's not like it's just sitting in a closet somewhere. But don't get too excited. In the several years since he purchased it, they have only used it in our backyard.

They've found all sorts of treasures (and I use that term very loosely, but they get so excited with every beep of the detector that it may as well be treasure) in the 1/3 of the yard they have canvassed. They were so excited about today's find that they called me in to sit at the kitchen table with them for an Oak Island War Room style presentation:

"Mommy, we've called you here because we think you will be very interested to see what we have discovered in the backyard today."

I played along. "I'm so pleased that you did. I am grateful to be here with you as you reveal to the world what you have found."

"In order for you to appreciate the gravity of the situation, we have to go back to the beginning of our hunt. As you know, we have uncovered many clues to mystery of the backyard. Over the years, we have found 3 old coins on 3 separate occasions totaling in value of $0.08 (a nickel and 3 pennies), a squashed paint can, a marker from the 1950s, various nails and several other odds and ends, including this broken hinge."

I couldn't resist. "A hinge? Possibly from a treasure chest?"

"Correct. And what we found today supports that theory."

Then, they held up a little silver ring with dolphins on it. A fucking actual piece of jewelry. There will be no stopping them now.

Figured they deserved a yummy dinner as celebration. Here's one of my favorites. Make sure you use a deep pan for this.

CHICKEN FLORENTINE

INGREDIENTS:

1.5 lbs. chicken breasts
4 slices of bacon
1 cup frozen seasoning blend (I use Pictsweet)
3 tsp minced garlic
2 tbsp unsalted butter
2 tbsp flour
5 oz fresh baby spinach
1 cup heavy whipping cream
1 cup water
1/2 tsp black pepper
1 tsp paprika
1 tsp rosemary
15 cherry tomatoes

DIRECTIONS:

Every good recipe starts with pouring yourself a good glass of wine. Tonight's is a great red zinfandel I received from Bright Cellars.

I should correct myself. Every good recipe starts with wine and bacon. Yes, I cut mine with scissors when I need crumbs. Set the heat on medium-high and fry the cut up bacon. Leave the lid on to collect moisture and just stir it occasionally until it's nice and crispy. Pro tip: Use the lid as a shield so the bacon grease doesn't pop you in the eye. Learned that one the hard way.

Use a slotted spoon to get the bacon out and set it all on a paper towel to drain. Leave the grease in the pan. Now is a good time to drink some of that wine so you don't eat the bacon.

Cut up the chicken breasts into fairly small chunks and place them in the bacon grease on medium-high heat. Add all of your seasonings now and stir it up well to evenly coat the chicken. Same as before, keep the lid on to collect moisture and stir occasionally until the chicken is cooked through. Then, remove the chicken to drain with the bacon and keep the moisture in the pan.

Now is a good time for a refill on that wine. Cheers.

Add the seasoning blend (I use Pictsweet Frozen Seasoning Blend, aka "Cheater Mix") and minced garlic to the pan and cook it in the moisture left from the chicken and bacon. Still cover it but not as much as with the chicken and bacon. You want to cook out some of that moisture.

While that's going, you can start the water for your pasta. Drop a couple of teaspoons of olive oil in the water to keep the noodles from sticking.

When the majority of the moisture is cooked out of the pan, add the butter and melt it down. Once melted, add in the spinach. This is why you need a deep pan. The spinach takes up a lot of space until it starts to cook and wilt. Cut the cherry tomatoes in half and add them to the pan once the spinach is about half-way wilted. Cover the pan and reduce the heat to low-medium.

By now, the water for your pasta should be boiling. We use spaghetti but you can use whatever pasta you like. Another pro-tip: Don't just dump the noodles in the boiling water because that will cause the water to fucking explode and spill out all over the sides. Reduce the heat slightly right before you put in the noodles, and put them in s-l-o-w-l-y. Another lesson learned the hard way. Make sure you work the noodles into the water and get them completely covered. Then reduce the heat to low and let them cook for about 12 minutes. Be sure to stir occasionally so the noodles don't stick together.

Over in the other pan, you should have a nice, fragrant and juicy mixture of butter, spinach, tomato and seasonings. It seriously smells so good. Add in the flower and stir that up to thicken the butter almost into a paste. Then, add the heavy cream and combine it well. It will still be pretty thick so add water a little bit at a time until it's at your desired consistency.

Add the chicken and bacon back to the pan, mix well, and cover. Keep the heat on low-medium until the pasta is ready. Drain the noodles and then you're ready to eat.